Field of Dreams

 Connor was a part of his final collegiate baseball game. Ohhhhh my word I had NO CLUE that kind of pain was coming!!! Connor has played baseball since he was little little!! We knew he was going to be a fabulous player when he was 1 and threw the baseball across my parents yard. In that moment, we ALL knew!!! So we've all (Michael, Connor, Dorian, and me) essentially played baseball through Connor for a better part of 18 years. How do you say goodbye to that part of your life? I was asking God about it and why it hurt so bad and His response took my breath away. He said," Imagine you not being able to ever speak to a group of people or teach again, that is what Connor is feeling right now." Ohhhhhhh my word!!! What the what?????!!!!!!!!!! God how do I even begin to speak to him in that???? How can I when my heart hurts this bad and hurts even more for him???? He will grieve this death. It IS a real death to him. He had hopes and dreams that were bigger than we will ever see with our human eyes.      
 His shoulder could not handle it though. He had surgery on it and the Dr said he hadn't seen many shoulders as bad as his. He said he had the shoulder of a 65 year old man. Not words a baseball pitcher EVER wants to hear!! Watching him long to be on the mound in the last game just broke my heart. I was trying to drink in every single throw, pitch, bat, and out for him. I want to be able to give him the sights, sounds, and smells of that game. I want to take away the pain for him. We ALL grieved that day in the ballpark. He lingered a lil longer on the field and we put our fingers thru and held on tight to the fence. 
When Connor was younger he would NEVER bat until we put our fingers thru the fence and basically high fived each other. If we didn't he honest to goodness struck out. His coach yelled at him once for doing it but he only yelled once, and we continued on. That memory takes up a huge part of my heart with baseball!!! I'll always high five with him thru the fence in my mind, that made me a part of his game! Gosh I'll miss that the MOST!! So as Connor, Jen, Michael, and I took our final walk off the field we stopped and prayed. I thanked God for the times we had there. That He grew a wonderful character in Connor thru the game. That he learned to play for the audience of One. And that He will NEVER leave Connor!!! 
I love the game but I love that kid more. 
With my whole heart I love this kid. I know God has called him to greatness!! This is just part of the testimony that sucks for a minute. 
So we all cried and walked off The Field of Dreams. 

 In the NEW category our Daughter-in-Love Jennifer graduated on Saturday with her Bachelors from SWOSU. I cannot express how proud we are of her! What an amazing feeling watching these people walk across the stage (for 2 hours I might add) and receive recognition that they deserve for their SUPER hard work for all these years!!! It's really inspired me to maybe go back for my degree in communications. We all know I can talk! haha But we will see what God has in store! Jen was sooooo beautiful as she carried her self and Ace across that stage in her cap and gown!!! I said we have THE MOST brilliant grandchild on the planet because he graduated from college BEFORE he was even born. Jen and Ace are called to Greatness by God!! It's fun watching!!! I also got to feel that little angle wriggle in his Mommas lil tummy for the first time!!! That was such a GREAT reminder that," Behold God is doing a NEW thing"!!! What a sweet sweet weekend with this new family of 2.5 almost three!! I'm sooooo grateful that God doesn't leave us in our sadness, he gives us things to aspire to, like being a NEW Mommy or Daddy or in my and Michael's case a Lolli and Pop!!!!!!!! So I'm crying and walking onto a NEW Field of Dreams!!