Sometimes you have to laugh at yourself. This is what I do much and often. I am learning laughter is healing and can bring about new perspective. I go between taking my self too seriously and not taking anything seriously. UUUUGGGHHHH I need to find the balance in it!!! I am honestly swinging towards the too serious side. BLEH that sucks the life right outta me. Especially for the season of life I am in right now.
I am just days maybe weeks away from being a Lolli. Baby Ace Christian will make his grande appearance VERY soon. That in and of itself is AMAZING. Watching your child become a parent is CRAZY. He and Jen are just babies themselves. Ok not really, they are 4 and 5 years older than we were when we became parents. What the what????? How in thunder did I become a Mom at 19??? Don't answer that question. hahahahahaha Connor and Jen are SOOOOOOOOO much smarter and wiser than we were at their age!!! They are going to be FANTASTIC parents!
Michael is excelling in his job!!!! Wow he's never experienced the favor of God in a job like he is now. I am soooooooo proud of him and excited to see what God is going to do in his life. He is blessing us financially and growing the business more and more. I even get to help him and travel with him. He's a captive audience for all my shenanigans and talking. Well maybe not as captive as he is trapped. hahahahaha We are on this to journey of WHATEVER You want Lord!!
Dorian is getting to sing with the worship team at our church. I was blown away walking into church on Sunday and CLEARLY hearing his voice worshipping his guts out up on stage!!!! It was such a beautiful sight and sound!! Leading people to the Throne Room of God.......... I cannot even imagine!!! What a high calling!!!
So why in thunder am I stuck in the seriousness of life? Yes there is a time and place and some people are just more bent that way, but by nature I am NOT! I keep asking myself What the What Ang? I am struggling to find what I am supposed to be doing!!! We moved here and my ministry STOPPED. :(
My heart and passion is to take people deeper, encourage marriages to keep fighting, and be in the Word. What am I supposed to do? Where do you want me Lord? My kids are grown! The ones I birthed and even the ones I didn't. What is a 42 year old Lolli to be supposed to do with her days??? I'm STUCK!!! I HATE HATE HATE HATE being stuck. I know Christ died to give me abundant life and I WANT to live it to the fullest!!!!!!! I am "doing" the right things a good Christian woman should, praying, reading the Word, going to church and sitting in my secret place with God and there is still a deafening silence about this from Him. Yeah I really don't know what to do with all that I assure you. There will be no happy "resolve" at the end of this post because I don't have any answers still. And yet I wait in hopeful expectation that the Lord WILL tell me something soon. So until then, I am going to laugh at myself, listen to Dori sing, work with Michael, and wait with Connor and Jen for Ace Christian to make his grande appearance. Life is good and God is amazing and I'm choosing THAT!!!!!!
