Matthew 11:30
My yolk is easy and my burden is light.
It is EXHAUSTING trying to be a perfectionist!! In my rational mind I know there is no such thing but the other part of me is still looking for it! I look around our apartment trying to get the PERFECT layout. I look in the mirror and try to figure out my PERFECT hair, and on and on and on. As I type, I am thinking why in thunder would you strive for something so unattainable? I would've never thought this be the answer, but it IS, PROTECTION. I am trying to protect myself from the "what-ifs" in life. If all of my "stuff" is in the PERFECT place, if my words are written PERFECTLY, if I look PERFECT, etc..... I cannot get hurt, I won't be rejected, I will be loved, I'll be good enough.......
I seriously just laughed outloud in a very self aware way!!!! Sometimes you think if you can just control all the situations you can't be surprised by anything. Shouldn't a surprise be a good thing? Sometimes they are!!
A couple of weeks ago I got a call from my little sister Weebus (our nickname for her). She had won a cruise for two to the Dominican Republic and wanted to know if I wanted to go. WHAT THE WHAT????? It's also a mission trip!! That was a SWEET SWEET surprise!! So one month from today we will be leaving from Miami on a boat for 7 days of fun, service, and sun!!! I have not loved flying in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. And that is an understatement!! But I told the Lord I am soooooooo sick and tired of fear stopping me from doing some fabulous stuff in the world!!!! So I am GOING!!! You can sure pray for us!! PLEASE!!
I WANT to love surprises and I don't want to duck in fear. I want to throw caution to the wind and not give a rip who is watching me sing my face off in my convertible. I want to be able to leave with my bed unmade! (ok ok ok that one is TOO far!!)
My friend Olivia has an 18 year old named Morgan (he is JUST LIKE his Momma!!!) who lives his life in a way that pushes me to be and do different!!!! Those moments when I am riding in my car and reach to turn my music down in fear of offending others. No there are NO offensive songs playing but it might be a little louder than some. I hear his voice in my head say," why do you care what they think?". You know what? It prolly isn't even playing that loud. hahahaha I think I'll start there!!! I'm turning that music up LOUD!!! So if you are next to me at a light and my music is too loud, don't glare at me, JOIN IN and sing along!!!!!!
It's time for NEW and it's time for FREEDOM!!!!
