Stirred NOT Shaken

It amazes me that the more I walk in my call the more secure I am and the less I can be shaken. I am stirred though. I used to let people and situations shake the tar outta me. I was very much run by my emotions and feelings. Now I turn around and look at the "old me" and think ohhh girl you were EXHAUSTING!!!! I need to apologize to EVERYONE I was doing life with at that point. I let my people pleasing fear dictate all my responses, emotions and honestly most of my decisions. It's soo embarrassing to have to admit that at my current age. :) I'm glad God didn't give up on me when I had given up on myself.

I am now a part-time Val's House Employee. I am serving as the Executive Director. It's almost surreal to even say those words out loud!!! My heart and passion are to do what I am currently doing!! I am "mending hearts and molding legacies"!!! The years it's taken for this dream to finally be  realized astounds me!!! There have been YEARS that I wondered if I was just hearing God wrong or He gave me a passion that would never be realized. But I KNOW that's not God's character!! It's soooo fun to be "getting" to do this. Thank You Lord for the opportunity!!! 

We started the new Beth Moore study "Children of the Day" and ohhhh my geeze it's AWESOME!!! Beth Moore does what my heart and soul cry out to do!! She teaches and inspires people to go deeper with the Lord. She STIRS every ounce of my being to know the Lord in a deeper more intimate way!! Watching her on the screen my insides just kept screaming "I want to do this" and the Lord said,"you ARE doing this"!!! I just cried and cried!! He also told me I am going to be writing curriculum. WHAT THE WORLD???? I have NO clue of even how to begin. This is stirring me soooo hard. This is such a new season for me but I am trusting Him with every ounce of my being. So I hope you will buckle up and go along for the ride with me. 

I Hope You Dance

Well sometimes you have a moment that forever changes you!!! I really hope you have several in your life. I had one this past Sunday at church. It's been a very difficult several weeks to say the least. My BABY graduated High School, we had his party, and the Lord is asking me to make some REALLY scary life changing decisions. So yeah.....pretty huge. Well back to church, we were sitting along side several thousand others while listening to Mark Harris sing his amazing song, "Help You Find Your Wings". He wrote that song for his kids and he said," I will lend it to you for your kids'. So as he started the first note the tears began running down my faee. Ohhhhh the truth in that song just undid me!!!!! So I'm just eating up every word coming out of his mouth and out of the corner of my eye I see Dorian stand up and walk down the aisle towards me. He grabs my hand and pulls me into the aisle to dance with him to this song!!!!! Ohhhhhhh my geeze I am crying again just typing these words!!! He leaned down as we danced and said,"I love you Mom".  And that's where the ugly cry began!!! There are just NO words to describe the safety and peace I felt in his arms!! That was my baby!! I held him in my arms as he cried when he was born, when he fell down, when he didn't get his way, when his big brother made him mad, or when he was sick. But all the times I held him didn't hold a candle to me in this moment. It was a culmination of all those moments into one. Every ounce of love, hope, dreams, and peace flew outta my body into his. I know I will NEVER be the same after that dance!! EVER!!!!!!! He didn't care there were thousands of people watching or that we were the only 2 standing up much less dancing, he wanted THAT moment with his Mom. I loved being a Mom the second I found out I was pregnant with Connor and now as we embark on being "empty nesters" I love it even more.  I love you my precious little boys!!! I love you forever, I like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby you'll be. Here are the lyrics to Mark Harris' "perfect" song!!!

It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So moony different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth
And if I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories

It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly

"And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.... I hope you dance"